User blog:Historyfan15/Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure Rant
Ah, Charlotte's Web. A childhood classic of mine. Based off the novel by the same name and adapted by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera in 1973, this movie holds a special place in my heart for how breathtaking it is. And in 2006, the movie got a live-action release that, while it had a few changes, did not disappoint. However, before the live-action release, there was an animated sequel released in 2003 entitled "Wilbur's Great Adventure." And this movie was anything but great. (sighs) Prepare for an infamous rant by me, because here one comes. This movie falls victim to what a lot of sequels suffer from: not sticking to the source material. The movie itself is so disjointed and confusing that instantly becomes grating. The movie has a weak plot, weak characters and is generally not a good watch. So let's start from the beginning and pick this movie off bit by bit. So the movie starts with Wilbur telling Nellie to be careful. Wilbur: Oh, Nellie. Please be careful. Here, we have our first problem. Wilbur's voice in this movie sounds nothing like his voice in the original. Even as a child, I noticed this. So then, we see Templeton trying to get his little herd in order. Next! We are then introduced to Carigan, a black lamb who is bullied by the other white lambs because he is the odd-one-out. Umm, what happened to Jeffrey? You know, that duckling from the first movie? Where is he? Did they replace him with Cardigan? (groans) Wilbur decides to make friends with Cardigan and- Yep, I'm bored already. This movie's storyline is way too predictable compared to it's predecessor. Even the emotional scenes in this movie are weak. Like you can't even call this Charlotte's Web. Charlotte only appears in a flashback with Wilbur (WITH THE ORIGINAL VOICES!). Then, we get this boring scene at the County Fair and Cardigan is shipped to a new farm. The end, can I go home now? Wilbur: I have to get Cardigan back! Damn it! So Wilbur and the triplets follow the trail and find Cardigan at his new home. We are then introduced to this tempermental cow called Bessie who is picked on by the other cows because her milk is always sour. Skip! Later on, we are introduced to a devious fox named Farley. Oh, great. Just what this movie needed, an antagonist. As if those lambs, cows and Templeton weren't antagonistic enough. Farley steals a hen from the coop and Wilbur gets blamed for it. Then, Cardigan gets captured by Farley to become his meal. Oh this I gotta see! Cardigan: Wilbur! Help! Is Farley trying to eat Cardigan, or rape him? My mind is going with the latter and don't give me that look, you know it's true! Cardigan: Wilbur! Help! Am I meant to feel bad for Cardigan here? Because, honestly, I'm rooting for Farley. You go, Farley! So this predictable chase scene occurs and Farley get trapped in a spider's web made by the triplets. Or (sighs) a pig's web. Then, while not shown, Farley is properly disposed of. Translation: he died a slow and painful death, filled with bullets and knives. So after the triplets decide to stay with Cardigan, Wilbur becomes a babysitter for Templeton's children, while Templeton watches the scene without a care in the world. (groans) Oh my God! Why is this movie a thing?! It does not need to exist! Go and watch the original or the live-action version and stay clear of this piece of crap! If only there was to make this movie actually good. Evil Historyfan15: Perhaps I could be of assistance. Historyfan15: Oh, it's you. What are you doing here? Evil Historyfan15: I am here to make this movie better. Historyfan15: How are you gonna do that? Evil Historyfan15: Simple. With some Movie Magic! Historyfan15: (gasps) Where in the hell are we? Oh, I'm a fox. #Foxy. (chuckles) That was bad. Evil Historyfan15: We are in the movie's universe and you're about to see my version of the film. Fox Historyfan15: Is that the abandoned barnhouse? And why is your fur black? Evil Fox Historyfan15: Because I'm your dark side so it matches my personality. And yes, that is the exact barnhouse. But with a twist. Fox Historyfan15: Twist? What twist? Evil Fox Historyfan15: Let's find out. (runs into the hole) Fox Historyfan15: Hey, wait for me! (runs into the hole) What are you-(gasps) Cardigan: (muffled) Help! Help! Evil Fox Historyfan15: Such a cute little lamb. I bet he tastes good, don't you think? Farley: I bet he tastes delicious. Fox Historyfan15: Hey, leave the poor lamb alone! He is not for eating! Farley: Oh, what's this? A rebel? Evil Fox Historyfan15: What do you say we teach this punk a lesson? Leave the little bastard for later. Farley: You just read my mind. Fox Historyfan15: Ah, crap. Fox Juliette: Foxy kick! (kicks Farley and Evil Historyfan15 in the faces) Farley and Evil Fox Historyfan15: Oof! Fox Historyfan15: Juliette! What are you doing here? Fox Juliette: I came to help. Let's get the lamb out of here. Fox Historyfan15: Right behind you. Farley: Hey, that's our kill! Evil Fox Historyfan15: Let's get the bastards! Fox Juliette: Run, Cardigan! Run! Cardigan: Right! (runs away) Fox Historyfan15: Juliette, run! (chase scene ensues) Evil Fox Historyfan15: Wait! Farley: What?! Evil Fox Historyfan15: We can't go into the woods nor toward the farm. We'll get flanked either way: the farmers' bullets or getting trapped in a spider's web. Farley: How do you know? Evil Fox Historyfan15: See this expression on my face? I know. We'd better migrate somewhere else. This place is far too prepared. Farley: Right, then what do we do? Evil Fox Historyfan15: When night falls, we can ravage the sheep pen. There's a whole herd of fresh lambs, just waiting to be eaten. Farley: Heh, heh. You are clever, my friend. Evil Historyfan15: Heh, I was born with it, my friend. Meanwhile... Fox Historyfan15: (pants) I think we lost them. Fox Juliette: (pants) So what now? Fox Historyfan15: Now, we get the hell out of Dodge! Movie Magic! Fox Historyfan15 and Fox Juliette: (gasps) Fox Historyfan15: We're back! Fox Juliette: Yes, we are. So what now? Fox Historyfan15: You want another round? Fox Juliette: You know how I'd like that. Fox Historyfan15: After you, mon cherie. Fox Juliette: (chuckles) Such a charmer. End. Thoughts on this...rant/story/thing? Category:Blog posts